The Forced Homeschooler
Recently I had a call with a prospective homeschool coaching parent who described herself as a forced homeschooler. Someone who never planned on homeschooling but had no choice other than to pull her child out of school for the sake of their child's emotional health and well being. Someone who wanted desperately for the traditional school system to meet the needs of her child- but school was failing miserably.
As a mother of 4 children ages 6, 9, 14, and 18 who never wanted to homeschool - I could relate to her words so much. I am a forced homeschooler too. I mean, really why should we have to homeschool? Why should we have to give up everything to teach our kids at home? School seemed to be working just fine for most of my friends' kids so why not for ours?
Well meaning friends and family stared at me blankly when I told them that I was going to homeschool. Their ears were listening but their blank faces told me that they didn't understand. My heart was filled with anxiety about the unknown, feeling desperate and out of control but knowing that something had to change. Sharing my heartache with those around me for whom school was not failing them, only seemed to make me feel worse and more alone.
They didn't understand because they were not going through what we were....
You see. I never wanted to homeschool. It wasn't my lifelong dream. I didn't start researching this philosophy when I was pregnant with my kids anxiously awaiting the day we could begin.
It was forced on me.
When you tell me that you could never do that, I imagine it is because you were never in my shoes. School is working for you and I get it. I'm happy for you, I really am.
Homeschooling was the last resort for my family. It was the necessary thing that we had to do to save our child. And it did. We absolutely love it and our only regret is that we did not do it sooner but that doesn't change the fact that we didn't choose it, it chose us.
Join the free A Spacious Life: Homeschool Support community on Facebook :
Click here to JOIN NOW!
6/7/2017 09:15:38 pm
I am in the same position now. Pulling my children out of school at the end of the year after too many fights, tears, and struggles. My (almost) 11 year old is in counselling and waiting for assessment by a psychiatrist after he began coming home telling me he wishes his life was over and he wants to die. Nothing the school can do or say could possibly soften that blow.
6/8/2017 11:17:56 am
Sadly your story is one I hear too often. I can only say hang on mama! It is going to take healing and recovery but by bringing your children home under mothers wing - you can begin to rebuild what school has taken away from them. Thank you for connecting and sharing your story:)
6/8/2017 04:09:25 pm
All of this! So much so. It was my kid always in trouble for talking (because she finished assignments early and was teaching others), it was my kid bullied because I taught in the same school so evidently that meant somewhere she was getting special privileges, it was my kid who was forced in 3rd grade to take that state test covered in hives or go home and end up in summer school. I have 3 college degrees in education and was a college professor but I was forced to change my plans. Here we are 5 years later in a place of creativity, space, and nurturing. ❤️
Christina! It is heartbreaking that so many of us find ourselves in the same boat and yet what a wonderful gift to give others by sharing our story and letting them know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for sharing your journey to homeschooling!
6/8/2017 06:45:33 pm
Thank you for the article I to was forced to homeschool my 14 yr old grandson whom I'm raising was physically ill ever morning which in turn caused him to have severe asthma attacks no answers or help from the school proud to say after our first year not 1 asthma attack and his grades are better
6/15/2017 06:20:48 pm
What a beautifully written article that exactly explains the situation I am in with my two daughters (one is "twice exceptional"- I think they are both exceptional ;) ). I just sobbed when I read this. Someone understands, someone gets this, and has witnessed the heart breaking events and struggles with no one to help them in the public school world.
For those of you on the fence, homeschooling has been an unexpected gift. Our son has PANDAS, an autoimmune disorder, and could not attend school because of his symptoms and the constant germ exposures so we were forced to withdraw him. He healed so much that first year. The next we decided to homeschool his younger sister for convenience and I felt like he was getting a better education. I was worried because she loved the social life of Kindergarten. No problem, she has blossomed academically outside of a large classroom, we're all healthier and we're all three making great friends in a homeschool co-op. It has taken us time to find our feet, but I am so glad we had the courage to leap into the unknown rather than keep struggling with school.
2/18/2018 10:17:15 am
To all the ladies that are saying that homeschool was forced on you, YOU ARE WONDERFUL!! From a mom that chose this, you are sacrificing even more for your children's sake, and that is so beautiful!
7/18/2018 03:31:22 am
I can relate, by mid Kindergarten I was forced to homeschool my son: gifted with special needs and medical needs. No school can meet his diverse needs. Thriving at home.
Leave a Reply.