Unmotivated, Lazy , Daydreamer
Bookclub Gathering in the Park
"El Deafo" 2015
Recently someone was asking me about teaching kids who are unmotivated, lazy and prone to daydreaming. She was watching her child slowly shut down in school and in the back of her mind, she wondered if he would be successful there long term. I'd been in her shoes so I understood what she was asking. She wanted to know if she pulled her son out of school would he just want to sit around and watch t.v. all day. She was afraid. How could she as a mom get him to do anything at home that at all resembled learning when he so clearly lacked a desire to learn?
Oh... I just wanted to share with her the beauty that I have witnessed over the past five years in my home since we started homeschooling. By letting go of all the negative thinking, by letting go of worrying about what everyone else was doing and really paying attention and seeing my children as whole, I began to see them as magnificent human beings with their own interests, wants and needs that are so uniquely theirs' and no one elses. Once I let go of the pushing, prodding and forcing them to learn what someone else wanted them to learn , magic started to happen. They started to want to learn for themselves.
The thing is that all kids are naturally curious aren't they? I have never met one who isn't. So what I told her is this. Outside of school, I don't actually believe any longer that there are unmotivated kids. I mean given the freedom to explore and delve into what truly interest them, with as much time as they would like to spend - allows our kids to get back to when they were just wee little ones and the world was a magical and amazing place. Remember how they just couldn't get enough, back when they wanted to touch and taste everything and each new experience just made them want more.. We all have an insatiable desire to learn. We just need to give our children space and freedom to really become who they were meant to be, who they have been all along.
So I encourage you to shift your thinking and see possibility where there was previous frustration. Find openness and acceptance. Move beyond labels and negative thinking. Resistance and push back are signals to explore new ways of teaching and learning and for us what a beautiful gift that has been.
This post has a powerful message! My kids were so resistant to a lot the busywork in school. When I see that same resistance now, it's usually because I've tried to exert some level of control over their learning. I can absolutely relate to what you said about letting go of pushing and trying to force learning. When they are in control, there is no stopping them, and their love for learning really blossoms.
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