April 19th, 2017

​I want to share something with you mamas. This time is fleeting. These days where you feel so exhausted and pulled in every direction will fly by. Soon you will be watching your children go off on their own and spread their wings and you will wish for these carefree days so much. You will long for just a little more time with them. 

I pulled my oldest out of school in the middle of 7th grade. Our relationship at the time was pretty rocky. There was lots of crying and arguing and trying to get her to do what I wanted. To comply.  To get her school work done, clean her room, take a shower, be nice to her sisters. Obey. All of it. She wasn't the most agreeable kid ( not by a longshot) and   I wasn't a very enlightened mama- not yet anyway.

Mamas, I so wish I could go back and do those years all over again. 

By the grace of God, somehow I woke up. That moment I pulled her out of school it was as if the blinds had been lifted from my eyes and for the first time in forever- I saw her, truly saw her and let go.

I realized then that she was her own person and my trying to control her to get her to do life my way- was killing her. It was literally sucking the life out of her. 

What she needed was a sense of autonomy and control over her own life and the freedom to learn on her own terms.  I learned to talk less and listen more. I became more of a resource and guide and less of an authoritative parent. Our focus became internal motivation and I stopped forcing anything. 

I challenged every belief I had about the way I thought things should be- and when I could not come up with a good answer- I shifted. I gave in.

And she thrived. She thrived mamas. 

I feel so blessed that I woke up and had this realization. Because of it  I was able to create some amazing memories over the past 6 years with my oldest daughter and today just a few weeks shy of her 18th birthday- have an incredibly close and loving relationship with her.

I may have lost a lot of time but no one can take that away from us. 

Homeschooling is not just about academics mamas. It is about relationships. With ourselves and with our children.  Let go.