I imagine you have been thinking about educating your child at home for some time and you feel pretty strongly that this is what is best for your family. Maybe your bright, intense, creative child is unhappy in school, or they are complaining of being bored, or you just know that a customized education would be so so much better than what they are currently getting.
Whatever your reason, you want to homeschool but your spouse says no.
I know you....you have done all the research and have talked to other homeschoolers but every time you try and discuss it - all that happens is you end up in an argument. It seems every issue you have in your relationship is being dredged up because you just can't let this go and you are not sure what to do.
Listen, I get it, Homeschooling is a huge change and it is not something most people do on a whim. We are talking about leaving the mainstream and forging out on your own. It's no wonder that even the very idea of it can be enough to cause alarm. There are worries about what others will think, fears about the effect it will have on relationships, and concern over whether or not you can really handle the work.
The good news is that I have come to learn that most of the time it is not so much that the other spouse is so against homeschooling ( even though they say that they are) but rather that they don't really understand what it even is, You are asking them to trust something that is so foreign to them that they can't seem to even listen and as a result communication between you is seriously failing.
I came up with this list after working with couples who were in your exact same shoes and through our work together they were able to find common ground. I hope you will use it as a guide to seek understanding and support so that you can achieve your homeschooling goal.
6 Tips to Get Your Spouse on Board with Homeschooling When They Say No Way.
1. Talk with your spouse about what their fears or concerns are...
Have them list them out one by one. Listen carefully with an open mind and heart.
2. Review together the many options of how to homeschool legally .....
Check into the laws in your area and what it might look like for your specific family. Some families choose a hybrid approach where your child was in a classroom setting several days a week, others go with a charter school where the kids are overseen by a teacher, still others homeschool online.. These are just a few. There are as many ways to homeschool as there are homeschoolers. , Explore them all.
3. Discuss what education and learning mean to you....
Most of us just send our kids to school without ever giving this much thought. Give yourselves time and space to really think about what skills, knowledge, and experiences you want your child to have when they go off into the real world.
4. Meet with a veteran homeschool parent...
Let you spouse ask all the questions. Nothing quite compares to power of the story from a parent who homeschools successfully and the comfort that it provides to ease ones' fears.
5. Attend a homeschool conference ...
You'll get a chance to hear from parents who's kids have graduated and gone on to be successful adults and also learn from experts in the field. For a long time, even though my husband supported our homeschooling. I was on the journey alone. I was the one reading all the books and searching online. A few years in, I took my husband to a homeschool conference and that was when the lightbulb really went on. Plus these are great fun for the kids!
6. If all else fails: Hire a homeschool coach or therapist .....
who can meet with you and your husband and work through any remaining issues. Remember, your spouse wants what is best for you and your children and sometimes you may need an impartial mediator to help you get on the same page.